Is it okay to live an independent, seemingly friendless lifestyle?

I have never had a best friend. I'm 21, and have always been really close to my family. Never been a big party animal, and so I haven't made a ton of college friends. I'm not a nerd, and I find that the people I do meet think I'm pretty cool. The difficulty I have is confidence and introversion... Which not only affect not meeting friends, but also not meeting women.



Sometimes I just feel like my life is so lonely... Does anyone else live like this? Should I try to change?Is it okay to live an independent, seemingly friendless lifestyle?
This sounds like me. It is ok only if you are happy with your lifestyle, but it seems that sometimes you aren't. I wouldn't change per se, since you do seem to be a cool guy, BUT if you meet friends you will not seem so lonely and will be more attractive to women. Women tend to like men that have busy lives and at least a few friends. I don't have a lot of friends, but try to have at least one or two people to do things with. I am dating someone now and I think he thinks it is weird that I didn't do anything this past weekend - because he is opposite of me and has tons of friends and acquaintances. I think he might think I don't have a life. I guess I don't have much of one, so yes, I am trying to change that to better myself. Is it okay to live an independent, seemingly friendless lifestyle?
It's OK. You're still normal. Just be yourself. When you fell nervous take a deep breath and let it out slowly.Is it okay to live an independent, seemingly friendless lifestyle?
flamingice1642,

Life as we live it is based upon choices me make. As long as you stay an introvert you won't step out and meet people. You need to change what you do to get "changed" results. Many people now days don't have much fun. I know you said you're not a "party animal", but might you consider throwing a party with some games and inviting people you think you might want to meet? All you'd need do is organize one, print flyers and hand them out to the people. Then, as it usually happens, more people show up than you invite and you can then meet a bunch of people. Should that be too much trouble and expense, I don't know if you're a member of a church group, but they have singles clubs for different age ranges. Or, you can do what I did... start a singles club. I made a bunch of flyers with maps to a location for people to go. I made it a pizza place and asked the manager for a group discount. We got 10% off for so many people to show. Next, place your phone for people to call to RSVP. Then, have a sign-in sheet where people neatly print their names, email address, and at the meeting, each person stands up, tells their name and a little about themselves. Next, at a certain time, ring a bell, click a glass, or whatever and have people change seats to talk to other people at another table. Then, you get a group decision as to what activities the group would like to do. Some will select bowling, volleyball, softball, going to museums, art shows, etc. You can do a picnic at a park and do a "show 'n shine" where people rub out scratches from their cars and polish them. Of course, a squirt-gun fight might break out? You can also do a night time fondue at a park or someone's yard. Go singing Christmas carols, take a group and all bake something and then donate the goodies to a retirement home where the group takes and delivers. Upcoming is Valentine;'s Day. A group of us had a Valentine's Day party in honor of the Valentine's day massacre in times of gansters. We all dressed in suits as mob men, had stick-on moustaches, the girls wore costumes as well and we went to a location carrying violin cases and had cap guns in our waistbands. We smoked cigars, had a fake shoot-out played music and danced. All in all, if you're not invited to the festivities, you bring the festivities to you.



In concluding, people are NOT made to be alone. A human being's needs are 1) Survival 2) Love and Belonging 3)Power 4) Freedom, and 5) Fun Should you like to read, the book "Choice Theory" by William Glasser may give you a lot to think about. It's easy reading and you'll learn a lot. Best wishes !
Yep, sounds just like me (including age). It's only a problem if you think it is. In other words, if it bothers you, then maybe you should try and change. It doesn't bother me because then I'd have to be somebody I'm not; I don't like parties and I'm quite and I don't want to force myself to be the opposite. With women, I'd rather meet one being myself and who likes me for that rather than for an act I put on at a party.